Issue 79 –
DISOWNED SELVES – Our Lost Heritage
Drs Hal & Sidra Stone
Encountering the Demonic: Embracing Our Disowned Selves
Marvin was another person we worked with who had disowned his negativity for many years. He also had within him a very caring and loving side and a self that was a real searcher. An illness forced him to look in at himself in new ways, and during this period he had the following dream:
I ‘m with a man who is a killer. I don’t want to be with him, but I have no choice. He commits a robbery and kills people in the process. I am an accessory. We spend time with many of my friends and they see me with this killer and I realize that I’m going to be tainted by him.
In the last scene, he comes toward me to kill me. I have a shotgun. He taunts me; dares me to kill him. I shoot and the gun misfires. He laughs and again comes toward me. This time I fire and blow his head off. Then I hear police sirens. I think that they will never believe me when I tell them what happened. I am a killer now and they won’t know why.
When an energy pattern is ready to be integrated, it appears in dreams in various ways, but basically it demands entrance; it demands submission. Phone calls in our dreams, dreams of people chasing us, or people trying to break into our homes – these are all energy patterns of different kinds trying to make contact with us.
The killer in Marvin, a symbolic expression of his demonic nature, wanted recognition. It insisted on recognition and was quite persistent, even giving Marvin a second chance to be a murderer. Marvin could not maintain the disowning process through the authority of his more loving nature and found he had to learn to embrace both patterns – his demonic as well as his loving selves.
In the next few weeks following this dream Marvin began to appreciate its implications; he realized how much he had disowned this energy. He then had the following dream:
I am at a racetrack and a race is going on. A very large horse is in the lead. Suddenly he leaves the track and comes racing after me. I am very much afraid and I start running. The horse is breathing down my neck as I awaken.
In this dream, a transformation of energy had already occurred – the killer energy had been honored to some extent. It was now a powerful horse; although it was chasing him, it was, nonetheless, a horse rather than a killer. Demonic energy was gradually being transformed into the powerful, natural instinct that it was before it became demonic. This transformation is the goal of working with demonic energies.
As you can see, it is quite difficult to overcome the intense effect of our demonic energies. How much easier it would be if we could recognize and embrace our disowned selves before these energy patterns are subverted into the demonic. Yet, as we have seen, our disowned selves were often established long ago, before we were old enough to comprehend what was happening. Further, until now, as you read this book, chances are no one has even pointed out this problem, much less offered you guidance in resolving it. So how, then, can you begin to embrace your disowned selves?
First, it is important to recognize that a disowned self is operating. Notice your irritation with someone – does it feel good? Do you feel self-righteous? Isn’t that other person so dreadful? Unfortunately, having read about disowned selves, you cannot bask in the sunshine of moral superiority for too long. You now know you cannot reform the other person. It is time to look at those qualities with which you are over-identified (you know-the ones that make you proud) and recognize how they limit you.
Perhaps you are excessively neat, relentlessly hardworking, compulsively kind and thoughtful, always caring and giving, always right, or never complaining or angry. Many of these qualities make us feel special, and we really do not want to give them up. So think about how these qualities can limit you, can make you intolerant, inflexible, unable to relax and accept yourself and others as full, complex human beings. It is nice to try to live a perfect life, but what if that means never trying anything new because you are afraid to make a mistake?
Now comes the fun. Although at first it may seem awkward, talk to the disowned self directly. See what it thinks; ask it how it would run things if it were in control. Feel its new energy, and allow yourself to see the world through a new perspective. Your disowned self is bound to be a source of new ideas, new inspirations, new solutions to previously unsolvable problems. After all, its views have never been available before. You will be surprised at the new energy that will become available. It is important to keep in mind that we are not suggesting you become the disowned self – simply allow its energy to speak.