The Dream Process:
Relationship as a Journey of Two Souls
Hal and Sidra Stone
A number of years ago when we were conducting a workshop in Chicago, one of the participants, a Hasidic scholar, told us about the ancient Jewish mystical tradition of a sacred relationship.
In this tradition, a primary relationship between a man and woman is much more than a relationship of two people. It consists of the man, the woman, and the holy spirit of the relationship. We like to view all relationships in this context. The holy spirit of which the scholar spoke would then be related to the spiritual striving, or evolutionary impetus, that exists within all beings.
Looking at relationship in this light, we see each new relationship as a catalyst in our personal evolution of consciousness. It challenges each of us to grow, to expand our awarenessof ourselves and of others, to deepen our connection to life and to other human beings, and to evolve until we express in our lives the purest form of our essential being. As we respond to this challenge, we find ourselves on a journey into never-before-dreamed–of realms of the psyche and the spirit.
We feel that at this time in history, when there is a great need to deepen our emotional and spiritual connections to one another and to the planet itself, this individual evolutionary process is sorely needed. It is our hope that this process will have an impact upon the evolution of humankind as it moves toward an era in which spirit and meaningfulness are as important as material well-being.
When we view relationship in this spiritual context, we see it as the journey of two souls. The relationship seems to have a life of its own as it helps each of us to move along our individual paths, bringing to our attention new areas of unconsciousness that need to be brought into awareness.
As soon as we have mastered one lesson, it presents us with the next. Very little time passes without movement. We have noticed that this can be a bit disconcerting, but when we stay in contact with the excitement of this challenge we see that it most certainly keeps life interesting. We never quite know what will happen next in our lives.
Over and over again, we have seen that as our consciousness changes, so does our future. Each addition to consciousness, each movement along one’s own evolutionary path brings with it new possibilities and, of course, new challenges, new choices, and new conflicts. New paths appear that had not existed before. These new paths may be dramatic, or they can be fairly subtle.
In Fiji, we met a mature couple who had apparently been leading a stable, predictable life. Their relationship had been dedicated to growth and self-exploration. They had surrendered to this relationship, trusting where it would lead them. Ultimately, they ended up selling everything and moving to Fiji. They bought a large schooner, sailed across the world, and set up a new life living on the boat and hiring it out to tourists for income.
On a less dramatic note, there are the daily subtle changes that come about as the result of this change in consciousness and growth.
For instance, Ana, a fairly driven young woman who is very successful in her work, becomes involved with Larry, who is more relaxed about life. Ana’s pusher makes Larry uncomfortable, and he tells her so. Ana begins to question the wisdom of operating constantly in this mode. She gradually learns, with Larry’s help, to relax and take life a bit easier.
The two changes in consciousness that we have just described resulted in tangible changes in lifestyle. At a deeper level, however, when we think of primary relationship as the journey of two souls, we are looking at an entirely new dimension in our interactions – the spiritual dimension.
This brings us to the sharing of our unconsciousprocesses, literally to the baring of our souls.
There is much trust needed for this kind of intimacy, because our partner will see things about us that we do not see about ourselves. This can be frightening to those parts of us that have the need to know everything and prefer to keep control of situations. To other selves, it is extremely exciting, because in this kind of sharing with another we have available to us an untapped storehouse of material that is usually inaccessible, material that immediately expands our awareness and greatly enhances our growth.
We feel that the richness that this depth of communication can bring is remarkable. Ongoing sharing at this depth reinforces our contact with our own deepest selves. It keeps reminding us of the underlying patterns that can be perceived in our daily interactions and activities. We find that we are encouraged to look more for meaning in our lives, in the daily dance of the selves. And, as we continue to examine our lives together in this way, we find that we treat them with more reverence. What we do with each day is important; each day is a gift and must be treated as such.
There are a number of ways in which we communicate with one another at this depth. We have already discussed vulnerability and how important it is to be able to share with a friend or partner at this level. This sharing opens up spiritual levels within us, for the child side is one of the central gateways to soul reality. We have also discussed Voice Dialogue and visual imagery as methods for establishing deeper communication with one another. In the next Voice Dialogue Tips, we will turn to the dream process, perhaps the richest and most exciting way in which we have found to communicate with one another at great depth.