Issue 92 –
Source Intelligence and Core Vulnerability (c)
Part 2 of 2
Dr Hal Stone
At the start of this dream there are three men who are involved. The first man is Hal and he is the dreamer. ( Whenever I come up in a dream I write about myself in the third person. In this way I am moved more easily into an Aware Ego Process ).
The second man is Coke Harrell. Coke is a top level Physician and Internist in Southern California and he is a very dear friend of both Sidra and myself. Though we don’t see him too often, we have always felt a deeply intimate connection with him. He is a totally lovely man. Coke is a life partner of Carolyn Conger who is herself a top level consciousness teacher and writer with whom we have shared a great deal of living through these many years. She comes up in this dream a bit later and plays a very significant role. Coke and Carolyn are very central figures in our lives.
The last of the three men is a young 22 year old man who is unknown to Hal in the dream. My association to him is very clear however. I was 22 years of age when I began my Jungian Analysis in 1949. Most certainly he would be a part of me who feels and acts as though he is starting out on a new and different path with a good deal of energy and gusto. He is clearly a can do kind of person but energetically he also fits well with Coke and Hal. Hal is very pleased to be with these two men.
So each of the three men in this dream are highly successful in what they are doing and/or what they have done. In the dream, in addition to their general level of capability, each of them is a top level fighter pilot – really at the top of their game in this profession. So each of the three men is being set up in the dream as being highly successful in the world. In addition to their success in their chosen field of work, Coke and Hal have spent a good deal of time attending to the issues of consciousness and also attending to issues of relationship and partnering. The young man is starting out both in his professional life as yet unknown and also is starting his life as a consciousness student as well as being a highly trained fighter pilot.
So now in the dream the three men are together and Carolyn Conger appears and she is their teacher/ mentor and guide. She clearly is coming from a higher dimension of consciousness and she is coming to assist the three men in bringing through a fundamental level of transformation that is common to the three of them.
She begins by showing the three of them pictures or videos of their lives as they have been living them. I have a very specific association to this part of the dream. When you read the literature on Near Death Experiences and also the hypnotic regression studies of Michael Newton and students and colleagues, one finds certain specific kinds of experiences that people go through in the early stages of the death process.
This action is called a life review. What happens is that individuals are shown all kinds of visual material in the form of photos and video films that start very early in life until the time they pass over. They see and they feel how they have behaved and, more importantly, they see and they feel what the other people have felt when we have hurt them in some way. It is a process that takes place in a very short period of time but it is very impactful to experience this process and feel the feelings of the people we have harmed in some way. Needless to say, it is the Spirit body of the person who is experiencing this life review.
In my dream, Coke, the young man and Hal are being shown this wide range of pictures that are based on their lives. It is very similar in the dream to what I have described in the after death life review. This goes on for what feels like a lengthy period of time.
At a certain point the dream begins to shift. The three men are no longer simply seeing all of these pictures of their lives. They are in their spirit bodies and they begin to enter into a transformational experience in which they are being initiated into a very deep level of vulnerability. At this point too in the dream, once they have each been initiated into this new state of Vulnerability, the three men coalesce and become just Hal. At this time there is no “I” who is observing and all becomes one. Hal is then resting in space in a very sublime energetic state.
In the dream I/Hal feel immensely grateful to Carolyn for what she has ignited in us and we are very much enjoying this condition of resting into this lovely energy. Then, instead of coming to an end, Carolyn begins yet a new process with Sidra and Hal showing them the pictures that belong to each of them and moving them in the same direction as before with the three men. They too, yet again are starting to feel this new stage or level of completion of feeling their vulnerability in a new way. In the experience it is a matter of learning how to feel it at this very deep level and knowing how to use it in the world in a new and ongoing way. I’m not sure if this process is completed or not with Hal and Sidra. It doesn’t really matter but it feels quite wonderful.
I begin to feel the energetic reality of this kind of vulnerability and then I, as the viewer and experiencer of this process, am resting between the opposites of the reality of the World on my left side and the reality of God energy on my right side and I feel very close to both sides. Here is how I would describe it.
I am resting in Space in my spirit body and on my right side is what looks and feels like the Tower of God energy that extends below for some distance because I am in space at this point just resting in my spirit body. Then I realize that the tower of God Energy extends far above to a place I can’t even imagine. It is not a tower that has straight lines. The base is wider and it curves as it goes up and the lines of the Tower are not straight. At times they are rhomboid. I know that I have entered this space in some small way but I know in the future I will spend much time there for there is so much to experience and learn. At this point I am not touching the tower but am totally separate from it.
Then on the left side is the world itself. It extends out horizontally and it seems to extend out forever. There is so much to see and learn and experience on this other side. I know that I have spent time there too, just as with the other side, but at this time I am resting between them in a way that is totally separate from each of them.
Then as I rest between these two profound systems I feel this wonderful feeling and I realize that this is what it means to live a source based process when we are living in our body rather than a purely Spiritually based process. Feeling the vulnerability then feels like the basis of the Source energy I am feeling at that point. In a Source based process the two sides are always present.
Then suddenly in my resting state I understand the final teaching of this dream. It seems that this is what the real difference is between a Source based process and a Spiritually based process. The Source based process separates us constantly from becoming identified with the World Energy and from being identified with Spiritual energy. In either case, if you marry (identify with) the world, or parts of it, you lose your vulnerability. Whenever we identify with a self on either side we get strength and/or power and vulnerability is pushed away. If you marry Spirit, or part of it, you lose your vulnerability. The trick is to be related to all of it without becoming any of it.
This vulnerability is not just what we feel but how we live our life increasingly as we stand between God energy in all of its forms and Life energy in all of its forms. It is the vulnerability that is the key to all human relationship. I really knew this before but I also didn’t know it in this context. The Aware Ego process as it moves us towards Source energy also moves us to an ever deepening experience of core vulnerability. The Aging process certainly makes it happen more deeply and more quickly. Maybe this is why the “Inventors of Aging” felt that they had to put aging and death into the human equation. It’s only a fantasy but it sure gets the job done.
Two years ago after over forty years of personal work on issues of power and vulnerability and surrender I had the following dream and this dream at the age of 84 or 85. In the dream Hal is walking around somewhere in the heavens in another dimension of consciousness. There are many people around as though something big was going on. Hal meets a man who looks like he knows what he is doing. He is like a competent foreman on a job. Hal asks him what is going on.
He tells Hal to go with him and they suddenly drop to another level or dimension of consciousness that is closer to earth. In front of us are a range of mountains in Southeast Asia with Everest on the right at just below 30,000 feet and then there are mountains on the left dropping off to a very large group of mountains at 18,000 to 20,000 feet high. We then zoom in closer and he points out one of these 18,000-20,000 mountains and he has me focus on it very clearly. I see all kinds of people at the top of the mountain and they are working there and he then says to me. “This mountain is your primary self! It is way too high for someone at your age and your stage of life and we are taking it down – all the way.” Then I see all kinds of backhoes and stone breaking equipment and a multitude of people working to bring down the mountain and they are doing it! They are cracking open the hard rock. (End Dream)
Our primary selves want life and fight for life even when we don’t know it. Our primary selves force our vulnerability into submission whether we mean to or not. What happens typically is when we enter the aging process it is so often the case, as it was with me, that my primary self went back into gear because of the vulnerability I was feeling about aging and finances and fears about dying and many other things. So the primary self system kicked in again and re-engaged life in a way that is very common for many of us. My major body systems held tight until 2010-1011 and then all of the illnesses and body systems began to fail and I have gone through what I have gone through as a natural process to re-balance the system.
In my dream of initiation I am in my Spirit body and I begin to come back. I have never had the experience of consciously being out of my body though I have been told by others that both Sidra and I are away in spirit states at night with some frequency. As I awaken from this dream it does feel as though I am re-entering my body. It all seems quite reasonable as I begin waking up but I have no idea as to what my actual state was at that time. ( End Dream )
As I have read this material and edited it a number of times I really have nothing to add except to say this. There are energies within us and outside of us who really care about what happens to us. Don’t let your rational mind intervene and stop you from asking for help from powers that you may know nothing about and that you doubt are real. They are real! We have all been educated away from them – No Blame. It is just the way it is. It is really time to re-claim this remarkable heritage.
I do not think about these kinds of dreams very much. They are of a different order of experience and I have learned to hang out with them. I always share my dreams with Sidra. Dreams need to be shared. They don’t need to be understood but rather they love being received and honored. So enjoy your dream process and learn to hang out with them, to paint them, enter into energetic connection with them, to dance with them. If at idea comes about the dream then that is fine also but don’t let the rational mind take over and turn the dream process into a thinking tournament. Then let’s see what happens.